Humor2.HTM

Added 10/27-2003 --
A man died and appeared before the Pearly Gates. "Welcome," said Saint Peter warmly, "and which Heaven would you like to be in?" "What do you mean, 'which Heaven,'" asked the man. "Oh, we assign people to the Heaven of their choice, depending on their religion," answered the Saint. "So what's yours?" "I'm an Atheist," stammered the man. "Still?" asked St. Peter. "Well..." "Never mind," said the Saint. "I'll give you the tour. I do this for lots of folks." With that St. Peter led the man past all the various Heavens -- the Muslim Heaven of beautiful mats of green grass and bright flowers on which blessed souls reclined while nubile houris ministered to their every need, the Catholic Heaven where blessed souls drank sherry and played bingo, the Jewish Heaven where blessed souls argued passionately about politics and ate latkes -- Heaven after Heaven. Finally, they came to a pair of heavy steel doors. "SHHH!" hissed St. Peter, and they passed in complete silence. "What was that about?" asked the man, when they were out of earshot. "Oh, those are the Fundamentalists," answered the Saint. "It would ruin it for them if they knew anyone else was here."


A really really bad pun from Gwen Cook (10/19/02

HUMOR2.HTM

 

Additional humor I have collected over the past 60+ years. If at least some of these donít break you up, I fear for you.J

 

A fragment I found in a book when I was 15 or so.

It became my lifeís motto:

 

"Born with a gift of laughter,

and a sense that the world was mad."

 

Sabatini (Saramouche)

 

The real story of the "12 Days of Christmas"

A politically correct view of the 12 days

Still another "12 days"

Christmas poem by a scholar

Analogies that did not make the big time

How Christians (& others) feel about guilt

How Christians (& others) react to a fire

How Christians (& others) see the game of baseball

Famous people comment on the road-crossing chicken

The story of the lone nun

Some really bad puns (but a limerick is verse)

Rattlesnakes & other stuff

Thinkers Anonymous

politically correct Dickens

Unpacking your new electronics gizmo

How to be a successful manager

A Hymn for Universalists

On depression

Employee Performance Plan

The Establishment turns down yet another find that does not fit

Courtroom humor

Speaking correct English

The Final Exam in College -- could you pass it?

Response on a college application

Why our roadways are 9 feet wide

Company letter (canonical form)

Business bloopers

Two Christians meet

Computer Virus types

One liners

Warning label recommendation from your friendly physicist

Put-downs to describe people without a clue

Descriptions of some people

Ways to write up your scientific research

The Rules of Life (Didn't anyone ever tell you?)

The real story of Schroedinger's cat

Flight Crew Training Manual

The identity of the Anti-Christ

The real reason Jesus wept.

Politically Correct Christmas Greetings.

 

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