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Added 10/27-2003 --
A man died and appeared before the Pearly Gates. "Welcome," said Saint Peter warmly, "and which Heaven would you like to be in?"
"What do you mean, 'which Heaven,'" asked the man.
"Oh, we assign people to the Heaven of their choice, depending on their religion," answered the Saint. "So what's yours?"
"I'm an Atheist," stammered the man.
"Still?" asked St. Peter.
"Well..."
"Never mind," said the Saint. "I'll give you the tour. I do this for lots of folks."
With that St. Peter led the man past all the various Heavens -- the Muslim Heaven of beautiful mats of green grass and bright flowers on which blessed souls reclined while nubile houris ministered to their every need, the Catholic Heaven where blessed souls drank sherry and played bingo, the Jewish Heaven where blessed souls argued passionately about politics and ate latkes -- Heaven after Heaven. Finally, they came to a pair of heavy steel doors. "SHHH!" hissed St. Peter, and they passed in complete silence.
"What was that about?" asked the man, when they were out of earshot.
"Oh, those are the Fundamentalists," answered the Saint. "It would ruin it for them if they knew anyone else was here."
HUMOR2.HTM
Additional humor I have collected over the past 60+ years.
If at least some of these don’t break you up, I fear for you. J
A fragment I found in a book when I was 15
or so.
It became my life’s motto:
"Born with a gift of laughter,
and a sense that the world was mad."
Sabatini (Saramouche)
The real story of
the "12 Days of Christmas"
A politically correct
view of the 12 days
Analogies that did not
make the big time
How Christians (&
others) feel about guilt
How Christians (&
others) react to a fire
How Christians
(& others) see the game of baseball
Famous people
comment on the road-crossing chicken
Some really bad puns
(but a limerick is verse)
Unpacking your new
electronics gizmo
How to be a
successful manager
The Establishment turns
down yet another find that does not fit
The Final Exam in
College -- could you pass it?
Response on a
college application
Why our roadways are 9
feet wide
Company letter
(canonical form)
Warning
label recommendation from your friendly physicist
Put-downs to
describe people without a clue
Ways to write up
your scientific research
The Rules of Life
(Didn't anyone ever tell you?)
The real story of
Schroedinger's cat
The identity of the
Anti-Christ
Politically Correct
Christmas Greetings.
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