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OTR.HTM
For
those who are universalists...
1
Let us worship Aphrodite,
1
Though we hear she's rather flighty
1
Still she looks great in a nightie
1
And that's good enough for me.
2
2
We will pray to Father Zeus
2
In his temple we'll hang loose
2
Eating roast beef au jus,
2
And that's good enough for me.
3
3
Let us worship like the Druids
3
Drinking strange fermented fluids
3
Running naked through the wo-ods,
3
And that's good enough for me.
4
4
My roommate worships Buddha.
4
There is no idol cuter.
4
Comes in copper, bronze, and pewter,
4
And that's good enough for me.
5
5
We will worship Sun Myung Moon
5
Though we know he is a goon.
5
All our money he'll have soon.
5
And that's good enough for me.
6
6
We will go down to the temple,
6
Sit on mats woven of hemp(le),
6
Try to set a good exemple [sic],
6
And that's good enough for me.
7
7
We will finally pray to Jesus,
7
From our sins we hope he frees us,
7
Eternal life he guarantees us,
7
And that's good enough for me.
8
8
Let us pray to Zarathustra
8
Let us pray just like we useta
8
I'm a Zarathustra boosta
8
It's good enough for me.
9
9
Let us pray like the Egyptians
9
Build pyramids to put our crypts in
9
Fill our subways with inscriptions
9
It's good enough for me.
10
10
If it's good enough for Dagon
10
That conservative old pagan
10
Who still votes for Ronald Reagan
10
It's good enough for me
11
11
We will have a mighty orgy,
11
In the honor of Astarte
11
It will be one helluva party
11
And it's good enough for me.
12
12
We will sacrifice to Yuggoth
12
Carve the signs of Azathoth
12
Burn a candle for Yog-Sothoth
12
And the Goat with a thousand young.
13
13
We will all be saved by Mithras
13
We will all be saved by Mithras
13
Slay the bull and play the zithras
13
On that resurrection day.
14
14
We will all bow down to Enlil
14
We will all bow down to Enlil
14
Pass your cup and get a refill
14
With bold Gilgamesh the brave.
15
15
It was good enough for Loki
15
It was good enough for Loki
15
He thinks Thor's a little hokey
15
And he's good enough for me.
16
16
We will all go to Nirvana
16
So be sure to mind your manners
16
Make a left turn at Savannah
16
And we'll see the Promised Land.
17
17
It was good for old Jehova
17
He had a son who was a nova
17
Hey there, Mithras move on ova'
17
A new resurrection day.
18
18
Where's the gong gang? I can't find it
18
I think Northwoods is behind it
18
For they've always been cymbal minded
18
Yet they're good enough for me.
19
19
I hear Valkyries a-comin
19
In the air their song is coming
19
They forgot the words they're humming
19
Yet they're good enough for me.
20
20
There are people into voodoo
20
Africa has raised a whoodo
20
Just one little doll will do you
20
And it's good enough for me.
21
21
It was good for Thor and Odin
21
Grab an ax and get your woad on
21
Till the Giants went and rode in
21
And it's good enough for me.
22
22
If your rising sign is Aries
22
You'll be taken by the faeries
22
Meet the Buddha in Benares
22
Where he'll hit you with a pie.
23
23
There will be a lot of lovin'
23
When we're gathered in our coven.
23
Quit your pushin' and your shovin'
23
So there'll be room enough for me.
24
24
There are followers of Conan.
24
And you'll never hear 'em groaning
24
Followed Crom up to his throne(in)
24
And it's good enough for me
25
25
It could be that you're a Parsi.
25
It could be that you're a Parsi.
25
Walk on by her; you'll get in free
25
And you're good enough for me.
26
26
Azathoth is in his Chaos.
26
Azathoth is in his Chaos.
26
Now if only he don't sway us,
26
Then that's good enough for me.
27
27
Just like Carlos Casteneda,
27
Just like Carlos Casteneda,
27
It'll get you sooner or later
27 And it's good enough for me.
28
28
We will venerate Bubastes.
28
We will venerate Bubastes.
28
If you like us then just ask us,
28
And that's good enough for me.
29
29
We will all sing Hari Krishna.
29
We will all sing Hari Krishna.
29
It's not mentioned in the mishna
29
But that's good enough for me.
30
30
We will read from the Cabala.
30
Quote the Tree of Life mandala
30
It won't get you in Valhalla,
30
Yet it's good enough for me.
31
31
If you think that you'll be sa-ved,
31
If you think that you'll be sa-ved,
31
If you follow Mogan David,
31
You're not good enough for me.
32
32
It's the opera written for us.
32 We will all join in the chorus.
32
It's the opera about Boris
32
Which is Godunov for me.
33
33
There is room enough in Hades
33
For lots of criminals and shadies
33
And disreputable ladies,
33
And they're good enough for me.
34
34
To the tune of Handel's "Largo"
34
We will hymn the gods of cargo
34
'Til they slap on an embargo
34
And that's good enough for me.
35
35
Praise to Popacatapetl
35
Just a tiny cigarette'll
35
put him in terrific fettle
35
so he's good enough for me.
36
36
We will drive up to Valhalla
36
riding Beetles, not Impalas
36
singing "Deutschland Uber Alles"
36
and that's good enough for me.
37
37
We will all bow to Hephaestus
37
As a blacksmith he will test us
37
'cause his balls are pure asbestos
37
so he's good enough for me.
38
38
We will sing of Iluvatur,
38
Who sent the Valar 'cross the water
38
To lead Morgoth to the slaughter
38
And that's just fine with me.
39
39
We will sing of Foul the Render,
39
Who's got Drool Rockworm on a bender
39
In his cave in Kiril Threndor--
39
They're both too much for me.
40
40
We will sing the Jug of Issek,
40
And of Fafhrd his chief mystic,
40
Though to thieving Mouser will stick,
40
That's still good enough for me.
41
41
Of Lord Shardik you must beware;
41
To please him you must swear;
41
'Cause enraged he's a real Bear,
41
And that's good enough for me.
42
42
You can dance and wave the thyrsos
42
And sing lots of rowdy verses
42
Till the neighbors holler curses,
42
And that's good enough for me.
43
43
Let us celebrate Jehovah
43
Who created us \ab/ \ova/
43
He'll be on tonight on Nova
43
'cause he's good enough for me.
44
44
Montezuma used to start out
44
He would rip a certain part out
44
You would really eat your heart out
44
And he's good enough for me.
45
45
We will go to worship Zeus
45
Though his morals are quite loose
45
He gave Leda quite a goose
45
And he's good enough for me.
46
46
It was good enough for Loki
46
For he is the god of Chaos
46
And this verse doesn't even rhyme, or scan.
46
Fuck you! It's good enough for me.
47
47
Let us sing to old Discordia
47
'Cause it's sure she's never bored ya
47
And if she's good enough for ya
47
Then she's good enough for me.
48
48
We will go to worship Venus
48
Though we hear she's kind of mean(us)
48
She might bite you on the--elbow
48
But she's good enough for me.
49
49
Well, we went to worship Venus
49
And, by god, you should have seen us
49
'Cause the clinic had to screen us
49
But she's good enough for me.
50
50
We will go and worship Isis
50
She will help us in a crisis
50
And she'll never raise her prices
50
So she's good enough for me.
51
51
We will sing a song of Mithras
51
Let us sing a song of Mithras
51
But there is no rhyme for Mithras!
51
Still he's good enough for me.
52
52
We will go to worship Kali
52
Hugging her is quite a folly
52
She'd be quite an armful, golly!
52
And she's good enough for me.
53
53
We will all bow down to Allah,
53
For he gave his loyal follow-
53
Ers the mighy petro-dollah,
53
And that's good enough for me.
54
54
Let us sing to Lord Cthuhlu
54
Don't let Lovecraft try to fool you
54
Or the Elder Gods WILL rule you
54
And that's good enough for me.
55
55
Let us watch Ka.ka.pa.ull
55
Frolic in her swimming pool
55
Subjecting chaos to her rule
55
And that's all right with me
56
56
Let's all listen up to Jesus
56
He says rich folks like old Croesus
56
Will be damned until Hell freezes
56
And that don't sound good to me.
57
57
Let us do our thing for Eris
57
Goddess of the discord there is
57
Apple's golden, it's not ferrous
57
and that's good enough for me
58
58
Of the Old Ones, none is vaster
58
Even Cthulhu's not his master
58
I refer to the unspeakable ------*
58
and that's good enough for me
58
58
* Well, do YOU want to say it?
59
59
Let us worship old Jehovah
59
All you other gods move ovah
59
Cause the one God's takin' over
59
And it's good enough for me
60
60
Let us sing for Brooharia
60
Though the blood's a lot less cleaner
60
It's not Christian Santaria
60
So it's good enough for me
61
61
Timmy Leary we will sing to
61
And the things that he was into
61
(Well, at least it wasn't Shinto)
61
And that's good enough for me.
62
62
Let us sing a praise to Loki
62
The Norse God of Fire and Chaos
62
Which is why this verse doesn't rhyme or scan
62
But it's good enough for me
63
63
It was good for the object
63 Of the Manhatten Project
63
It was good for Enrico
63
So it's good enough Fermi
64
64
Father Odin we will follow
64
And in fighting we will wallow
64
Till we end up in Valhalla
64
And that's good enough for me.
65
65
Hari Krishna he would laugh on
65
To see me dressed in saffron
65
With my hair that's only a half-on
65
And that's good enough for me.
66
66
I will rise at early morning
66
When my Lord gives me the warning
66
That the Solar Age is dawning
66
And that's good enough for me.
67
67
When old Quetzalcoatl
67
Found a virgin he could throttle
67
He put her heart in a bottle
67
And that's good enough for me.
68
68
Azathoth is in his chaos
68
We know he's a really big boss
68
Now if only he don't slay us
68
Then that's good enough for me.
69
69
Hari Krishna he must laugh on
69
To see me dressed in saffron
69
With my hair that's only half on
69
and that's good enough for me
70
70
If you're really into dancing
70
And want to try some trancing
70
Then the voodoo gods are prancing
70
And that's good enough for me
71
71
We will sacrifice to Yuggoth
71
Light a candle for Yog-Sothoth
71
If we're good we'll send a Shoggoth
71
And that's good enough for me.
72
72
It was good enough for Loki
72
Where he goes, it sure get's smokey
72
He thinks Thor's a little hokey
72
And he's good enough for me
73
73
Don't neglect that shrine of Zeus's
73
Though he's lost his vital juices
73
Still the old boy has his uses
73
And he's good enough for me.
74
74
There's one thing I do know
74
Zeus's favorite is Juno
74
She's the best at, well, you know
74
And she's good enough for me.
75
75
When we worship Bacchus
75
The ethanol will sock us
75
We'll all get good and raucous
75
And that's good enough for me.
76
76
We will venerate old Bacchus
76
Drinking Beer and eating Tacos
76
'till you've tried it please don't knock us
76
'cause it's good enough for me.
77
77
Let's all drink to Dionysus
77
His wine and women beyond prices
77
He made a Maenad out of my Sis
77
And that's good enough for me
78
78
Let us dance with Dionysus
78
And get drunk on wine and spices
78
The Christains call them vices
78
But they're good enough for me
79
79
It was good enough for Cupid
79
And the tricks to which he stooped
79
'thou his wings are kinda stupid
79
But he's good enough for me
80
80
No one wrote a verse for Buddha
80
Though I think they really could'a
80
And I really think they should'a
80
'cause he's good enough for me
81
81
There are some who practice Shinto
81
There's no telling what they're into
81
Though I guess we could begin to
81
But that's good enough for me
82
82
Warriors for Allah
82
Are sure to have a gala
82
time in old Valhalla
82
And that's good enough for me
83
83
Any time that I start hearin'
83
"Jesus loves you" I start leerin'
83
May-be so, but not like Brirn [sp?]
83
And he's good enough for me
84
84
And though J.C.'s into fish too
84
He's an avatar of Vishu
84
So he's welcome here to
84
And that's good enough for me
85
85
And for those who follow Cthulhu
85
We've really got a lulu
85
Drop a bomb on Honululu
85
Cause thats good enough for you
86
86
We it's good enough for Hastur
86
He's a mighty kinky master
86
When you pray he goes much faster
86
And that's good enough for me
87
87
Good old Thor's the god of thunder
87
Really helped us get our plunder
87
Though his head's still truely dunder
87
He's still good enough for me
88
88
There are those who worship science
88
And some would send 'em to the Lions
88
But without 'em we'd have no appliance
88
So they're good enough for me
89
89
In the names of Thor and Odin
89
Don't you know there's a war on?
89
Grab a axe and get your woad on
89
And it's good enough for me
90
90
In the church of Aphrodite
90
The Priestess wears a see through nightie
90
She's a mighty righteous sightie,
90
And she's good enough for me
91
91
We will burn a heart for Torak
91
Tho' we know he is a bore-ack!
91
He is still a God of Angarak
91
And he's WAY too much for me...
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