CHICKEN.HTM

 

 

 WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

 

 PAT BUCHANAN

 To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.

 

 DR. SEUSS

 Did the chicken cross the road?

 Did he cross it with a toad?

 Yes! The chicken crossed the road,

 but why it crossed, I've not been told!

 

 ERNEST HEMINGWAY

 To die. In the rain.

 

 MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.

 I envision a world where all chickens will be free to

 cross roads without having their motives called into question.

 

 GRANDPA

 In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the

 road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the

 road, and that was good enough for us.

 

 ARISTOTLE

 It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

 

 KARL MARX

 It was a historical inevitability.

 

 SADDAM HUSSEIN

 This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were

 quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

 

 RONALD REAGAN

 What chicken?

 

 KEN STARR

 I intend to prove that the chicken crossed the road at

 the behest of the president of the United States of

 America in an effort to distract law enforcement

 officials and the American public from the criminal

 wrongdoing our highest elected official has been

 trying to cover up. As a result, the chicken is just

 another pawn in the president's ongoing and elaborate

 scheme to obstruct justice and undermine the rule of law.

 

For that reason, my staff intends to offer the chicken

 unconditional immunity provided he cooperates fully

 with our investigation. Furthermore, the chicken will

 not be permitted to reach the other side of the road

 until our investigation and any Congressional

 follow-up investigations have been completed. (We also

 are investigating whether Sid Blumenthal has leaked

 information to the Rev. Jerry Falwell, alleging the

 chicken to be homosexual in an effort to discredit any

 useful testimony the bird may have to offer, or at

 least to ruffle his feathers.)

 

 CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK

 To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

 

 FOX MULDER

 You saw it cross the road with your own eyes.

How many  more chickens have to cross before you believe it?

 

 FREUD

 The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken

 crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

 

 BILL GATES

 I have just released eChicken 99, which will not only

 cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important

 documents, and balance your checkbook and Internet

 Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.

 

 EINSTEIN

 Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road

 move beneath the chicken?

 

 BILL CLINTON

 I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do

 you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken please?

 

 LOUIS FARRAKHAN

 The road, you will see, represents the black man.  The

 chicken crossed the "black man" in order to trample

 him and keep him down.

 

 THE BIBLE

 And God came down from the heavens, a

nd He said unto  the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road."

And the  chicken crossed the road,

and there was much  rejoicing.

 

 COLONEL SANDERS

 I missed one?

 

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