The 51 Rules of Good Grammar. Why exactly 51? Nobody knows.

 

1.  Each pronoun should agree with their antecedent.

2.  Between you and I, case is important.

3.  Verbs has to agree with their subject.

4.  Watch out for irregular verbs which has crope into the language.

5.  Don't use no double negatives.

6.  A writer should not shift your point of view.

7.  Don't write a run-on sentence you have got to punctuate it.

8.  About sentence fragments.

9.  In articles books memos and stuff like that we use commas to keep things apart without which we would have without doubt confusion.

10. But, don't use, commas, which are not, necessary.

11. Its important to use you're apostrophe's correctly.

12. Don't abbrev. unless nec.

13. Check carefully to if you any words out.

14. In my opinion and thinking, based on my long experience, I think and opine that an author or writer when he or she is writing something that he or she should not get accustomed to the habit or mode of operation of making use of too    many redundant unnecessary words or phrases that he or she does not actually really require or need in order to put his or her thoughts or message across to the reader of the article or whatever.

15. About repetition, the repetition of a word is not usually effective repetition.

16. As far as incomplete constructions they are wrong.

17. Spel correckly.

18. Don't  runyour words together.

19. If you persist in using unfamiliar foreign words, alles kaput. Foreign terms, abbreviations, U. S. W. are even worse.

20. To effectively write, avoid splitting infinitives.

21. Ending a sentence with a preposition is poor form. You should try not to.

22. Use Capital Letters correctly.

23. End every sentence with a period;

24. Refrain from antagonizing people, you stupid jerk!

26. Watch your numbering.

27. Were trying to learn people to use the language correctly, by inferring that grammar are important.

28. Eschew polysyllabic profundity. Also, eschew sesquipedalian obfuscation.

29. Their is sometimes difficulty knowing when to use "there" instead of "their".

30. Watch out that in your writing that you don't have have an extra word in your sentence.

31. You all should avoid regional speech patterns.

32. Forgetting a prefix is done only by the couth.

33. Too many rules stifle creativity. Do not make up your own rules. Failure to observe this will result in dismissal.

34. Kuteness is dumb.

35. If your verb tenses agreed, you have written a good sentence.

36. When dangling, watch your participles.

37. The active voice shall be used.

38. To mix metaphors is to tread lightly on dangerous waters.

39. If your verb tenses agreed, you have written a good sentence.

40. Proofreading is improtant.

41.  Don't use no double negatives.

42.  Make each pronoun agree with their antecedent.

43.  Join clauses good, like a conjunction should.

44.  About those sentence fragments.

45.  Dangling prepositions should not be put up with.

46.  Verbs has to agree with their subjects.

47.  Just between you and I, case is important, too.

48.  It is best to not ever split infinitives.

49.  Its important to use apostrophe's correctly.

50. From "The Elements of Style" by Strunk and White:  "The subject of a sentence and the principal verb should not, as a rule, be separated by a phrase or clause that can be transferred to the beginning."

51. Last, but not least, knock off the cliches!

 

References: 'The Little English Handbook' by Edward P. J. Corbett  which credits some of the above to William Safire, "The Fumblerules of Grammar," The New York Times Magazine, Nov 4, 1979, and "Fumblerule Follow-up", Nov 25, 1979.