CHICKEN.HTM

 

WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

PAT BUCHANAN

To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.

DR. SEUSS

Did the chicken cross the road?

Did he cross it with a toad?

Yes! The chicken crossed the road,

but why it crossed, I've not been told!

ERNEST HEMINGWAY

To die. In the rain.

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.

I envision a world where all chickens will be free to

cross roads without having their motives called into question.

GRANDPA

In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the

road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the

road, and that was good enough for us.

ARISTOTLE

It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

KARL MARX

It was a historical inevitability.

SADDAM HUSSEIN

This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were

quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

RONALD REAGAN

What chicken?

KEN STARR

I intend to prove that the chicken crossed the road at

the behest of the president of the United States of

America in an effort to distract law enforcement

officials and the American public from the criminal

wrongdoing our highest elected official has been

trying to cover up. As a result, the chicken is just

another pawn in the president's ongoing and elaborate

scheme to obstruct justice and undermine the rule of law.

For that reason, my staff intends to offer the chicken

unconditional immunity provided he cooperates fully

with our investigation. Furthermore, the chicken will

not be permitted to reach the other side of the road

until our investigation and any Congressional

follow-up investigations have been completed. (We also

are investigating whether Sid Blumenthal has leaked

information to the Rev. Jerry Falwell, alleging the

chicken to be homosexual in an effort to discredit any

useful testimony the bird may have to offer, or at

least to ruffle his feathers.)

CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK

To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

FOX MULDER

You saw it cross the road with your own eyes.

How many more chickens have to cross before you believe it?

FREUD

The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken

crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

BILL GATES

I have just released eChicken 99, which will not only

cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important

documents, and balance your checkbook and Internet

Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.

EINSTEIN

Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road

move beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON

I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do

you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken please?

LOUIS FARRAKHAN

The road, you will see, represents the black man.The

chicken crossed the "black man" in order to trample

him and keep him down.

THE BIBLE

And God came down from the heavens, a

nd He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road."

And the chicken crossed the road,

and there was much rejoicing.

COLONEL SANDERS

I missed one?

 

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