†WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?
†To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.
†Did the chicken cross the road?
†Did he cross it with a toad?
†Yes! The chicken crossed the road,
†but why it crossed, I've not been told!
†To die. In the rain.
†MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.
†I envision a world where all chickens will be free to
†cross roads without having their motives called into question.
†In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the
†road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the
†road, and that was good enough for us.
†It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
†It was a historical inevitability.
†This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were
†quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
†I intend to prove that the chicken crossed the road at
†the behest of the president of the United States of
†America in an effort to distract law enforcement
†officials and the American public from the criminal
†wrongdoing our highest elected official has been
†trying to cover up. As a result, the chicken is just
†another pawn in the president's ongoing and elaborate
†scheme to obstruct justice and undermine the rule of law.
For that reason, my staff intends to offer the chicken
†unconditional immunity provided he cooperates fully
†with our investigation. Furthermore, the chicken will
†not be permitted to reach the other side of the road
†until our investigation and any Congressional
†follow-up investigations have been completed. (We also
†are investigating whether Sid Blumenthal has leaked
†information to the Rev. Jerry Falwell, alleging the
†chicken to be homosexual in an effort to discredit any
†useful testimony the bird may have to offer, or at
†least to ruffle his feathers.)
†CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK
†To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
†You saw it cross the road with your own eyes.
How many †more chickens have to cross before you believe it?
†The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken
†crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
†I have just released eChicken 99, which will not only
†cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important
†documents, and balance your checkbook and Internet
†Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.
†Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road
†move beneath the chicken?
†I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do
†you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken please?
†The road, you will see, represents the black man.† The
†chicken crossed the "black man" in order to trample
†him and keep him down.
†And God came down from the heavens, a
nd He said unto †the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road."
And the †chicken crossed the road,
and there was much †rejoicing.
†I missed one?
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